Article
Reading the Table: Help Your Wait Staff to Avoid Robotic Service
It all seems so simple: You've got a wait staff that is eager and friendly, efficient and competent. You know that guests appreciate those qualities in a server. So you put the two elements together and for the most part everything works out just great. But there are always those exceptions, those parties that seemed lukewarm when you asked about their experience, or in some cases have even been just plain turned off by it.
And the problem wasn't that the server made a mistake, forgot something, spilled something on someone, or that the service was subpar in any technical way. For whatever reason, the guest was just left feeling cold.
So what's up? One possibility is what I call the "Stepford Waiter" syndrome or put another way, servers who go into the robotic "Waitron" mode.
Wait Service is a Performance Art, Not a Place on an Assembly Line
We all have ideas about how we want the experience to be when we go out to a restaurant to eat. The problem is that not everyone has the same idea of how that ideal experience is going to take place. We all have our individual likes and dislikes. In fact, under differing circumstances, the same person will have different expectations. For instance, the father out for a casual meal with his family likely expects one type of experience. If he goes to dinner with business acquaintances, he is probably anticipating something with a different feel and tone. The point is that as a restaurateur or as a server, you have to adapt your service style, your "routine" to the varied and diverse people you encounter.
As a business problem, the issue gets down to this: If your guests cannot expect customized service in a restaurant, then where can they expect it? You might use a typical quick-service restaurant (QSR) as an example of automated service, but even the better QSRs take care of special needs, as it is practical. If you offer any kind of sit-down service -- casual or upscale -- you need to make sure that your servers are in tune with guests.
A useful metaphor for servers is clothing. Would you prefer an "off the rack," or a tailored suit? Some folks can buy clothing off the rack that fits fine, but most people look best with fitted clothing, even if the modifications are slight.
Off the rack is serviceable, but not desirable. It lacks style. It lacks elegance. It is comfortable only in a diffuse, unrestrained way. You'd wear one if you had to, but only if there were no alternative. But when it comes to that suit made to fit you exactly, it not only looks great, but it feels great. There's something comforting about a snug, custom fit. It doesn't have to be extreme to give you a sense of well-being.
Waiting on people should work the same way. Every party that comes to your restaurant, or your station in the restaurant, is a bit different and so you have to "tailor" your service to fit them. You can't just trot out the same routine for every party.
. . . The point is that as a restaurateur or as a server, you have to adapt your service style, your 'routine' to the varied and diverse people you encounter.
And it does become a routine. Actually, a performance is a better way to think about it. In fact, at the point that you have honed your skills so that it becomes a routine performance is the point at which you are free to sharpen your delivery, to work on the fine points. That is also what will allow you to vary the performance to suit the audience. It is, after all, all about their needs and wants when they come to you. They've come out to be served, to be taken care of, even, in a way, to be nurtured. And it is your task, as an operator or as a server, to figure out just how it is that you can make them feel that way. And the way that you talk to and interact with people has a big effect on how they perceive their experience.
Look, Listen, Then Act
We all have ideas and expectations about how we relate to other people and how we might reasonably expect them to behave toward us. But those expectations are something we carry around in our heads. True enough that we communicate nonverbally by the way we dress and act, but only in a pretty general way. So since people don't explicitly tell you about their preferences or expectations when they sit down for a restaurant meal, you have to do a bit of observation. And having your eyes open is really all it takes to figure out how to cater to most guests.
Some parties want lots of interaction with their server. Others just want discrete, efficient service. Some people are comfortable with instant familiarity and some people view it as inappropriate and off-putting. Some people feel every bit as comfortable at a table in a restaurant as they do in their own homes. Others might feel uncomfortable, out of place, even nervous or threatened in a restaurant dining room. Whether they are already at ease or whether they need a bit of reassurance from you, keep in mind that everyone who comes through the door is there to have a good time. It's your performance many times that determines whether they do. And I'm not talking about what you do, as in the mechanics of providing good service. It's the way that you go about doing what it is you do that has to be adjusted to suit the situation.
You have to observe the tone of the occasion, the demeanor of the guests and the way they interact with one another. Are they friends, family, co-workers, business associates who are meeting for the first time (often in the presence of bosses or superiors)? First meetings obviously can be stressful and it helps everyone if you can establish an atmosphere that puts everyone at ease. Most times the quickest way to put everyone at ease is to put the host at ease. You do this by first identifying the host. Then simply engage him quietly in a brief exchange, stating the obvious, that you are there to take care of all the details for him and that he need simply give you some direction. He should then feel free to attend to the conversation at the table and not whether someone needs another pour from the wine bottle.
Are they out for a casual dinner? Does it look like a special occasion? Is it a large party or small? Do the party members seem easygoing, casual and friendly or more formal and aloof? How are they dressed? This is not to say that because someone is dressed casually that you can safely assume they are expecting a casual attitude on your part or that if a party is formally dressed, for example, you should assume you need to be a bit more crisp and reserved. Yes, the way they look and are dressed are probably good cues as to how to approach them, but it's the way they interact with one another and with you that should be your guide.
Comfort Levels
Particularly in fine dining scenarios, the comfort level of the guest is one of the most important variables that a server has to consider when trying to read the party and figuring out how best to serve them. Guests who are at ease are already in a frame of mind that allows them to have a good time. They are likely more open to suggestions, more willing to try new things, more willing to trust you to show them a good time.
In my experience, guests who are uncomfortable fall into two camps: those who see you as an ally to guide them through their dining experience and those who see you as a foe whose only concern is extracting from them as many of their hard-earned dollars as possible. Those who look at you as an ally or guide and put their trust in your savoir-faire are some of the most enjoyable of guests to take care of. It's really gratifying to take someone who may feel ill at ease and to make them feel welcome and comfortable.
Servers, especially veterans, are fond of saying, "I'm just in it for the cash." And they most definitely are there to make some cash -- as much as they can, in fact. But I think all of the good servers I've ever known have all taken real satisfaction in connecting with people in a way that gives those people an enjoyable experience. They recognize that some customers will welcome suggestions and recommendations, will be delighted by a familiar tone and demeanor and just generally love the attention they get from their server.
Good food is obviously important, but the important "product" here is the experience, the perceptions of the guest. What they take away in their heads is at least as important as what was on their plates. But that's just one type of guest. For others, the "product," the "experience" is all about the food. Probably these are people who eat out regularly or often. They likely feel comfortable in a restaurant and definitely will see service as a part of the overall picture, but may not be as interested in engaging the server in conversation or receiving suggestions aside from what off-menu specials may be available.
Reading the table benefits both the server and the served. The server is able to not just serve, but sell more effectively, and the served get the kind of experience they desire. Selling, after all, is a good part of what a server does. The more and the better he or she sells, the more money he or she (and the house) makes. And the ability to gauge who is open to the upsell and to what extent is a really big component of being a good server. The server is looking to make the best tip he can from every table. It benefits him always to figure out what it is that each table wants in the experience of eating out.
One-size-fits-all is, generally speaking, a bad idea when it comes to anything but tube socks. We come in different shapes and sizes, after all. The same concept applies to service: It must be tailored to meet the needs of the individual. There is a payoff, of course. When the guest is more comfortable, the server usually is better rewarded.
The Service Expectation Continuum
Think of your guests' "service expectation" as being a continuum. On one end of the continuum are the people who want to talk to the server, are curious about him and generally like lots of interaction. (By the way, among this group, incidentally, are a subset who very much rankle veteran servers by inquiring "what they really do" as in what their real, full-time occupation is, or where they go to school, etc. The implication is that they see you as capable of something more "responsible" or more "fulfilling" than waiting tables. They mean well, but it strikes an uncomfortable note. Many people want their servers to approach the job with the same diligence as their doctors or lawyers, but are not willing to acknowledge that wait service is a skilled and honorable vocation. But we digress.)
In the middle of the continuum are the guests who expect you to be friendly and efficient, to be there when needed, possibly showing a certain degree of charm -- enough to add to their experience, but certainly not enough to upstage or to become the main attraction. This group is definitely the most numerous. In fact, this describes by far the majority of guests you are likely to encounter. Group distribution, when it comes to level of interaction desired or required, follows the bell curve, that graphical depiction of various traits of various populations. What it shows is that almost everybody is in the middle (meaning for the most part the same) and those who differ are at opposite ends and are few in number. What this means for our discussion is that you can interact pretty much normally with most everyone, but there are small numbers of people with whom you must spend lots of time and display lots of personality and a corresponding small number of people for whom you must provide discreet, efficient service without letting your personality intrude upon their dinner experience.
So there exists a sort of "baseline" for diners' expectations about the way their server will or should relate to them. It's really just what we would consider, if we were to think about "normal behavior." And this is just fine for waiting on most people -- assuming that you are a competent server. But the thing to keep in mind is that your "performance" -- your "shtick" when you have developed it -- is appropriate and useful in most cases. But you have to observe and realize when it's not appropriate, and useful to deviate from your script or your playbook. Giving people the loose, flapping-in-the-breeze, one-size-fits-all experience will get you by in most cases. But if you really want to be rewarded, give them the custom, contoured, and tailored treatment when called for.
Serve the Host to Best Serve the Group
An astute server can help set the tone for his guests' experience in ways you might have not considered. Among the most challenging table to serve is the large-group business meeting. The dynamics of the group are complex, in that there may be subordinates dining with their superiors who are dining with prospective customers and important business contacts. In between conducting business, individuals have to be concerned with the dining experience of their VIPs. As a server, you do not want to interfere with important business discussions by interrupting the individual guests; however, you also realize that if you are aloof, then the individuals in the group will be forced to interrupt the flow of conversation to get your attention.
How do you win? In these situations, the quickest ways to put a group at ease is to put the host at ease. You do this by first determining who is the host. Then simply engage him or her quietly in a brief exchange, stating the obvious, that you are there to make the dinner pleasant and productive, and that he need simply give you some direction and you'll take care of the details as quietly and efficiently as possible. Think of yourself and the host as a team, working for the benefit of the group. He will appreciate the support, and will feel free to focus on the conversation at the table and not whether someone needs another pour from the wine bottle.
